Statistics

I first spotted Devin in the spring of my first year of college when I walked into the dining hall. He was dancing with a fork in hand, and I remember thinking to myself, ‘Who is that cute boy? And how have I not seen him before?’ We ended up meeting that night after I unwittingly bought a double-bacon cheeseburger for a classmate who asked to borrow ‘board points’, a.k.a. Cafeteria Money. This kid knew Devin, who had just gotten back from Russia (that’s why I’d never seen him), and he invited Devin to sit at our table.

And you know, at first I was kind of weirded out that my cafeteria money, a strictly vegetarian currency, had been used to buy meat; but in retrospect, I’d say it was money well spent. Sometimes I tell Devin that he is worth thousands of dead cows and pigs!

He does not find that very romantic.

The other day we were discussing the merits of huge universities (what it would have been like to take lecture classes or go to football games and frat parties or drive around a campus); and I remembered all this. I looked at Devin and said solemnly, ‘You know, if we’d gone to a huge school, I might have walked into the dining hall and seen the boy dancing with a fork for the first AND ONLY time’.

‘Yes,’ he said, ‘although, there would have been a lot of boys dancing with forks, statistically speaking’.

Which is kind of a fair point—or an inappropriate inference, depending on which nerd you ask. However, I have it on good authority that there is only one Devin Last Name-Last Name, and I’m glad we went to a school small enough for us to see each other all of the time.

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Statistics

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