On Friday I treated myself to a burrito bowl from Chipotle (no endorsement implied). Since I was by myself, I either got to witness a love story unfold or just eavesdropped on the people sitting at the next table. Your interpretation depends on how much you like to dramatize real life, and we all know where I stand on that.
The people sitting there were a guy and a girl in their late teens. And the guy contingent (let’s call him Sam) pulled out all the stops to impress his date (let’s call her Jamie). Like, I’m pretty sure he paid for her food and didn’t even give her a hard time about ordering a salad when everybody knows the best part about Chipotle is the cilantro rice. He even asked her ‘What’s that?’ and pretended to be very interested when she answered ‘Salad dressing’.
Sam had obviously suggested the restaurant and asked Jamie for her thoughts on it. Encouraged by her positive response (‘It’s good’), he proceeded to lay down his game and impress her with his knowledge of Chipotle trivia.
• ‘Yeah, I really like it. I’ve always thought that it’s kind of like the Subway of burritos’.
• ‘There are mad Chipotles in Atlanta. Like everywhere you turn, there’s a Chipotle’.
• ‘It has choices, but not too many choices. I think they got kids’ meals, but it’s not on the menu’.
They were both Latin@, so after exhausting the ‘cool facts about Chipotle’ conversation, Sam asked Jamie if she thought her grandmother would like Chipotle. She shrugged. He said, ‘Yeah, I think my grandma might like it’. And then he asked the question he’d been building up to all day. And his voice was a little bit higher-pitched (classic ‘nervous but trying to sound cooly casual’, you know the deal).
Sam: So, do you think you’ll come to the party tonight?
Jamie: Nah. I gotta get some rest.
Sam: What? You like partying.
Jamie: Yeah, but you can’t do it all the time.
Sam: Oh yeah, mmhm, yeah. (Fake laugh like, ‘I know aaaall about that!’) It might be short. You should come.
And then, she switched the subject just like that and asked why he wasn’t wearing his watch.
Sam: Oh yeah, well, I had to stop wearing it ’cause it wasn’t real. My dad gave it to me. It looks cool, but I think I got bad karma ’cause if I see people wearing fakes, I point it out…I’m like, ‘Nahhh’, so I can’t wear it.
Have you guessed the twist in this love story yet? It’s actually a tale of unrequited love. It took all my self-restraint not to hug him and say, ‘She’s just not that into you, friend’. Jamie only said like fifteen words the whole time even though Sam was being polite and asking lots of questions. And that Chipotle-Subway analogy? Inspired! Plus, he made himself so vulnerable by admitting his watch was fake. What kind of person stops wearing his favorite accessory because he believes in karma? A person with integrity, that’s who. I mean, I actually left before they did, so I don’t know for sure that Sam’s love was unrequited. Do you think there’s a chance Jamie was just being shy because she was nervously working up the courage to tell Sam she’s crazy about him? And do you agree that Sam is so cool, asking about grandmas on the first date?
Disclaimer: It seemed blog-worthy at the time.